Member-only story
For the past nine years, I’ve struggled with brain fog, fatigue, and an underlying sense of lethargy.
I was diagnosed with a myriad of health conditions when I was 21 — chronic pain and fatigue are symptoms of all of them.
“Fibromyalgia” is a word I avoid using, because there’s such a stigma attached to it. The “fake” disease, as one arrogant doctor I dated once called it. I didn’t go out with him for long — he didn’t know that that “fake” disease he mocked ruled the better part of my twenties. That it is the reason I dropped out of a top-ten law school, that it prevented me from living. For years.
I relied heavily on coffee to get through my days. “Imagine how tired you would be if you didn’t drink coffee,” I’d tell myself.
Fast forward to age 30, and I was drinking two cups of black coffee per day. Or a large, triple-shot latte in the morning with an afternoon pick-me-up around 2 or 3.
I needed naps daily. I would plan my weekends around my fatigue. When could I take a nap? Would I be home at a decent enough hour to allow myself 10 hours of sleep based off what I needed to do tomorrow?
Suffice it to say, I felt like I was living half of a life. Far from fully lived, and never fully rested.
