As an Indian woman, loving a black man has forced me to face the ugliest parts of myself and the deep-rooted prejudice of my own culture. — Hello, world. I am a Punjabi woman in a relationship with a black man. I say “black” because he prefers that term to “African American.” Before meeting my boyfriend, I always felt slightly awkward using the term “black” to describe anyone. In my language, we refer to a person of…

My Punjabi mother convinced me my fingers would fall off if I touched myself. — Though I grew up in the Los Angeles area of Southern California, my world as a child was very much contained within the tight-knit Punjabi community within the San Fernando Valley. As a result, my first language was Punjabi, the foods I grew up eating were Punjabi, and the majority…

Happiness isn’t a constant — it’s an ever-evolving state, mirroring the constant work that goes into the practice of acceptance. — I want to first acknowledge that this piece is written from a point of privilege. I have a roof over my head, I have food in my fridge, and I have clothes that keep my body warm. This pandemic hit my family hard — my younger cousin committed suicide over…

I remember sweetness. The soft scent of sugar and musk as I nuzzled my tiny face into her warm neck. I remember beauty. …

Holy shit! I WROTE A CLICK-BAIT TITLE! Sure, it’s a title that’s rooted in truth, but it definitely reeks of clickity-click bait. Because not all (South) Asians are anti-Black. And some people who identify as Asian will probably get super pissed by my title. …

Relying on your partner to satisfy all your emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical needs is a recipe for disaster. — It was a fight we’ve had too many times to count. “You don’t know how to support me emotionally.” “Babe, I’m trying. I’m sorry. I’ll do better.” “I’m tired of this. You’re like a broken record. You never show up for me the way I need you to. …

My therapist told me to write down all the qualities I wanted in a partner, and I realized my boyfriend only had a few of them. — Over the summer, I stepped back from my relationship with my boyfriend of 16 months. Our differences were too stark, and I struggled with my own sense of value as I learned more and more about his past. …

Day #18 of my 90-Day Challenge — So I’m doing a 90-day writing challenge but decided to not write Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. That might seem counter-intuitive, but it was something I did with purpose. My neuroses and my history with OCD and eating disorders means as soon as I feel obsession kick in, I need to…

Day #14 of my 90-Day Challenge — I was journaling this morning, and I thought of someone who I missed on a deep level — she was my best friend for over 12 years, the woman I went to for everything. She knew every nook and cranny of my flawed and imperfect self; and she loved me…