As an Indian woman, loving a black man has forced me to face the ugliest parts of myself and the deep-rooted prejudice of my own culture. — Hello, world. I am a Punjabi woman in a relationship with a black man. I say “black” because he prefers that term to “African American.” Before meeting my boyfriend, I always felt slightly awkward using the term “black” to describe anyone. In my language, we refer to a person of…

My Punjabi mother convinced me my fingers would fall off if I touched myself. — Though I grew up in the Los Angeles area of Southern California, my world as a child was very much contained within the tight-knit Punjabi community within the San Fernando Valley. As a result, my first language was Punjabi, the foods I grew up eating were Punjabi, and the majority…

Happiness isn’t a constant — it’s an ever-evolving state, mirroring the constant work that goes into the practice of acceptance. — I want to first acknowledge that this piece is written from a point of privilege. I have a roof over my head, I have food in my fridge, and I have clothes that keep my body warm. This pandemic hit my family hard — my younger cousin committed suicide over…

I remember sweetness. The soft scent of sugar and musk as I nuzzled my tiny face into her warm neck. I remember beauty. …

Holy shit! I WROTE A CLICK-BAIT TITLE! Sure, it’s a title that’s rooted in truth, but it definitely reeks of clickity-click bait. Because not all (South) Asians are anti-Black. And some people who identify as Asian will probably get super pissed by my title. But it’s okay, because if it…

Relying on your partner to satisfy all your emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical needs is a recipe for disaster. — It was a fight we’ve had too many times to count. “You don’t know how to support me emotionally.” “Babe, I’m trying. I’m sorry. I’ll do better.” “I’m tired of this. You’re like a broken record. You never show up for me the way I need you to. …

My therapist told me to write down all the qualities I wanted in a partner, and I realized my boyfriend only had a few of them. — Over the summer, I stepped back from my relationship with my boyfriend of 16 months. Our differences were too stark, and I struggled with my own sense of value as I learned more and more about his past. …

Day #18 of my 90-Day Challenge — So I’m doing a 90-day writing challenge but decided to not write Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. That might seem counter-intuitive, but it was something I did with purpose. My neuroses and my history with OCD and eating disorders means as soon as I feel obsession kick in, I need to…

Day #14 of my 90-Day Challenge — I was journaling this morning, and I thought of someone who I missed on a deep level — she was my best friend for over 12 years, the woman I went to for everything. She knew every nook and cranny of my flawed and imperfect self; and she loved me…